Lifetime committment

I’m going to complain about Facebook’s treatment of relationships again.

Not only did I find out through three notices on Facebook yesterday that a friend reconciled with her boyfriend over the weekend, but today I was greeted with this ludicrousness:

Ross and Linda (*) are married. Ross and Linda made a lifetime commitment to one another, and let everyone on Facebook know.

A lifetime commitment to each other? Says Facebook. Because Facebook knows them both very well. What Facebook didn’t mention is that is Ross and Linda actually ‘made a lifetime commitment’ to one another three years ago, have since had a child and are thinking of buying a new house together in the coming months. But they ‘let everyone on Facebook know’ did they? Well thank you, Facebook, for reporting this joyous news. What else do you know about Ross and Linda that they let everyone on Facebook know?

You’re a fvcking website, Facebook. Don’t pretend to know people. Don’t tell their friends about ‘lifetime commitments’ in that generic, presumptuous and obnoxious tone you seem to have recently adopted. I’m fast becoming convinced that you really are being operated by the American Right. Let’s hope Ross and Linda never break up, huh? What then will I be greeted with?

Ross and Linda (*) are now divorced. Ross and Linda turned their back on their lifetime commitment to one another, and let everyone on Facebook know. They will burn in hell now, just as they deserve.

(*) Names removed to protect the innocent.

14 responses to “Lifetime committment

  1. Are you avoiding your thesis, by any chance?

    Wash your mouth out!! How dare you!?! Yes.

    Iā€™m not so sure you should let it bother you quite so much.

    Oh, you’re right. But once I get a bee in my bonnet… šŸ˜‰

    Although it is amusing to read.

    Good stuff!

  2. people have the option of turning off the relationship notification
    so if you break up, facebook won’t announce it to everyone in the newsfeed
    everyone should take advantage of this option
    though i guess that would sort of defeat the point of facebook
    evil facebook

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