Now listed as missing

It’s the aspect of Facebook I like least, I think (notwithstanding the alleged CIA/ KGB/ IRA/ FBI/ SNP involvement). I’m referring, of course, to that little box on your profile which tells the whole world – or at least those people in your whole world who have access to your profile – whether you’re coupled up or not. I wouldn’t mind that so much, if it weren’t for the ease with which Facebook informs anyone who’ll listen that you’re no longer coupled up and are now, in fact, SINGLE.

Every day on my Facebook ‘news’ feed, I see the words: Charlene Bloggs is now listed as ‘in a relationship’ and Charlie Doe is now listed as ‘single’. I always ask myself two things: ‘again?!’ and ‘why is it always indicated by a little heart, no matter the outcome?’.

Nowadays, I long for the times when Charlene getting herself a lad (or a lass), and Charlie returning to singledom for a while, were more private affairs, but it seems we’ve gone beyond that now. I somehow resent reading about my friends’ most intimate stories on a stark white page, even if they did choose to put them there themselves. It’s clinical in a very 21st century way; we don’t even need to sympathise any more.

But most of all I think about those who are surely, every day, dumped by Facebook. It must be quite something to log on of a morning only to find that you’ve returned to your own singledom, and that you’re very likely the last to know about it.

I was dumped on Facebook. (Sorry about the Torygraph link there, peeps.)

12 responses to “Now listed as missing

  1. It’s also rather fun when you hide your relationship status as it tells the world you a no longer single. Everyone assumes you’re now in a relationship and you have to go through this long explination that you’re still single, you just didn’t want to keep broadcasting to the world how pathetic you are. That said I don’t facebook anymore 🙂

  2. Dom, I didn’t even think of that. I just find the whole thing really unnecessary and designed to ‘name and shame’ or something. I really like catching up with what people are doing, but their ‘relationship status’ doesn’t interest me at all.

    James, good reason it is too! What are the others, if you don’t mind me asking?

  3. People just like to confuse me with it. I had one show up who was ‘listed as single’ and then ‘listed as in a relationship’ in the same day.

    Some people are quick to shout to the world…..’holy shit he dumped me, give me sympathy now’ and just don’t have any grace about it.

    Saying that, I list my status….

  4. Is there a modern etiquette for online information about former lovers? I mean when I were a lad the exes gossiped about menfolk and occasional a whole chunk of the population would ignore you for a while or stare daggers at you. Sometimes her (the ex) best friend might have a chat with you about the exes new chaps and wonder if I was alright with that. This was usually a prelude to something else. It was personal though and even when we didn’t have all the information we could guess what was going on. Facebook and other “social networking” sites do seem to be …well impersonal. It’s like the information is there but none of the emotion.

    Does that make any sense at all?

  5. Pinky, that’s what I mean. I have some friends who change their status every other day. That’s why I always exclaim ‘again!’ at them. It’s annoying.

    Hover, it does make sense and it’s got me thinking. I don’t know! But there’s a PhD in that for someone! I think that was one of the points of the piece I linked to: not only did he have to find out that he was dumped on FB, but he also saw all of that aftermath. Ugh!

  6. The bezzer has just reminded me that when she and Kaite broke up on Facebook for two weeks back in November (which was when I knew it was serious, like) it actually showed a little BROKEN heart.

  7. McDreamy once suggested listing himself as being married to his roommate, which I begged him not to do. Why? Because then everyone on my list would get the feed that I was now ‘single’ and I didn’t want to deal with the flood of messages that would surely follow.

  8. Pingback: Lifetime committment « tenderhooligan·

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